How to deal with rejection

Rejection sucks.

It feels lousy to put yourself out there just to be crushed.

When I was in college, I decided to teach a free class about personal finance and invited everyone I knew.

No one showed up.

emptyconfroomAn empty room.

That rejection stuck with me for years. I was afraid to throw events even after I wrote a New York Times best-selling book and had hundreds of thousands of readers.

But over the years I’ve learned to overcome those fears — and even love rejection.

Today I’m going to show you how with my 3 steps for dealing with rejection.

Step 1: Let rejection excite you

Here’s a counterintuitive truth about rejection: it can be exciting.

Most people don’t see it that way. They give up the moment they’re first rejected.

But that is exactly why rejection is so exciting. The moment you experience rejection and decide to push through anyway, you automatically separate yourself from 99% of the people out there who also quit.

My former editor and friend, Jay Cross (creator of DIY Degree), calls this concept The Continuum of Doers.


From this perspective, we see that rejection is a merely an obstacle most people never even try to overcome.

But you can both overcome it and keep yourself from experiencing more of it in the future. Here’s how:

First, pinpoint what it was that led to you being rejected:

  • Were you unable to get a second date after the first one fell flat?
  • Did a client hire somebody else after you missed a deadline?
  • Did you email your resume to a hiring manager and never hear back?

    Once you’ve identified any trouble spots you can work to systematically improve yourself in those areas.

Using the examples above, we could learn what to say on a date, plan ahead and create a project calendar for the client, or learn how to write a killer resume.

If we do these things, then our chances of succeeding shoots through the roof the next time around. We’ll not only overcome rejection, but easily breeze past the barriers that have held us back.

Step 2: Plan for failure

When I was applying to colleges, I noticed something interesting.

A lot of the people I knew were applying to top schools, and if they didn’t get in they’d say: “Whatever, I didn’t want to go there anyway”.


I remember thinking: “If you didn’t want to go, then why’d you apply? And if you DID want to go, why give up so easily?”

I fully expected to get rejected from my dream school (Stanford). That’s why I outlined a plan of specific actions I’d take to get in even after they rejected me. I was going to send them updates on my coursework, my copywriting business, and press clippings of articles I wrote.

Getting a “no” was only the first step of the process.

That’s how it is in other areas of life as well. From selling to dating to business — to just about anything. We need to expect failure and plan what we’ll do when it comes.

That’s exactly what top performers do.

James Altucher, author of Choose Yourself, talked about this process when we sat down for a talk on how to deal with failure.

We all face a fear of failure. How you manage that fear determines your success.

Step 3: Consider the source

A problem my students sometimes face is criticism from people who don’t understand why they are trying to improve their lives.

They’ll hear things like: “What are you doing trying to get your ‘Dream Job’. You should just be happy for the job you have!”

Of course, that’s usually coming from the guy four cubicles down who’s been stuck in the same crappy job for 25 years.

When you get negative feedback, first consider the person it’s coming from. Then ask yourself: Is this someone I should listen to? Is it someone I admire and respect? Or just a random critic who enjoys cutting people down, and doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about?

As someone who’s received thousands of hateful comments and emails over the years, I’ll be the first to tell you that most people LOVE to offer criticism — but not solutions. Don’t bother listening to those people.

Bonus Step: How to eliminate worry

It’s not always the pain of rejection that’s the problem. Sometimes it’s all the worries about what might happen that keeps us paralyzed and afraid. We get so nervous we “reject” ourselves before we even try.

If you are your own biggest critic, I have a simple strategy I’ve developed that can help.

Sign up below and I’ll send you my video:  “Eliminate 99% of Your Worries With This One Simple Technique”.

You’ll learn:

  • How to stop worrying about what you can’t control
  • Simple ways you can clear your mind and sleep better every night.
  • My “Worry Vault” technique so you NEVER have to stress about certain items again.

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Eliminate worry once and for all with the “Worry Vault” technique

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How to deal with rejection is a post from: I Will Teach You To Be Rich.


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